Archive for May, 2008

Fourteen tons of cookies are spilled on the highway. Why? Because the dolt fell asleep at the wheel!!!

Police say a trailer loaded with 14 tons of double-stuffed Oreos has overturned, spilling the cookies still in their plastic sleeves into the median and roadway.

Illinois State Police Sgt. Brian Mahoney says the truck’s driver was traveling from Chicago to Morris on Interstate 80 around 4 a.m. Monday when he fell asleep at the wheel and slammed into the median.

Imagine all the Oreo cookie pie crusts you could make from all those crushed cookies. Hey! The article says they were still in their plastic sleeves, that should have made it that much easier to smash them to make the crusts.

No charges have been filed, but there should be some sort of Oreo cookie assault law on the books.

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I have long told my wife that one of the tell-tale signs that the economy was truly “close” to a recession would be when the home improvement stores started making far less money.

Lowe’s Cos., the nation’s second biggest home improvement retailer, reported a 17.9 percent drop in first-quarter earnings and lowered its guidance for the year on Monday as the slumping U.S. housing market and softer economy hurt sales. Its shares fell more than 2.5 percent in morning trading.

Lowe’s said it earned $607 million, or 41 cents per share, in the three months ended May 2. That is down from $739 million, or 48 per share, in the first quarter of 2007.

Now granted, they didn’t actually “lose” any money, they just didn’t make as much as they have in the past. I don’t think it will last though. We’re just getting into the season where most people do any remodeling and such. You’ll see.

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Some economists are actually upset that the recession still hasn’t happened.

Stock markets are up sharply since March. The recent batch of economic data has not looked as dire as feared. The U.S. Federal Reserve is finding fewer takers for its loan auctions. A fine-art sale drew a record $86 million price for a Francis Bacon painting.

So is the U.S. recession off? So far, so good — or at least not so bad. However, there are still quite a few dark clouds on the horizon.

“Although GDP has been stagnant, the economy does not look to have slipped into an outright contraction during the first half of the year,” said Bruce Kasman, chief economist with JPMorgan in New York.

Oh boo-hoo. He’s not alone. Read the entire article to hear other so called “experts” talk about everything slowing down and how we are on the brink of economic disaster. Aren’t we always on the brink?

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Ha! Pennies. Where in the heck can you still get 150,000 pennies?

Ken Griffey Jr. owed Cincinnati Reds teammate Josh Fogg US$1,500, and paying by cheque just wouldn’t do.

So when Fogg arrived in the Reds clubhouse Wednesday, he found his locker filled with 150,000 pennies – 60 boxes, each weighing 16 pounds and containing $25 worth of pennies.

“Basically, it’s like having 60 bowling balls in your locker, only with no holes to pick them up with,” Griffey said.

I know, I know, from Josh Fogg. But other than him, where? I don’t think any of the banks near me even have 150,000 pennies on hand.

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This is absolutely crazy.

A Michigan doctor is getting a laugh out of a 51-cent property tax bill. It isn’t just that Phil Kazanji’s bill is so low. It’s that it cost the city of Brighton $5.21 to send it to him by certified mail.

Kazanji says he first thought the amount was a mistake. Now he calls the whole thing “the most ridiculous thing a government agency would do.”

City finance director Dave Gajda says Kazanji paid $158 on a bill for $158.48. The city penalized him 3 cents and sent him the new tab.

Gajda says Brighton doesn’t have the authority to waive a portion of taxes.

Kazanji says he’ll write out a check for 51 cents and drop it off.

They don’t have the authority to waive a portion of the taxes, but they have the authority to waste $5.21 attempting to collect an amount one-tenth of that amount.

And people think we need more government. I feel a migraine coming on.

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When I saw this article, I had to read it twice. I couldn’t believe what I was reading. A judge, in California, is actually holding someone accountable for their actions and making them answer for what they have done? Did the world start spinning backwards or something?

Directors and officers of mortgage lender Countrywide Financial (CFC.N) must answer shareholder accusations of insider trading and failure to monitor lending practices that led to the company’s collapse, a federal judge in California has ruled, the New York Times reported.

The New York Times said on Wednesday that Judge Mariana Pfaelzer of U.S. District Court in Los Angeles rejected arguments made for Countrywide executives and directors that they were unaware of lax loan operations that led to ballooning defaults.

Countrywide had “red flags” for months if not a couple years before the mortgage industry balloon popped. I just can’t believe that judge is going to make them answer questions about what they knew and why they ingored those flags.

Wow.

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Oh Lord, here we go again. Alan Greenspan opened his mouth again. Only this time, he sort of contradicted himself.

One month ago he said that the U.S. had fallen into an “awfully pale recession”, yet at the time and even now we are not yet in a recession. Now, today he says we could face a mild recession.

U.S. economic data suggests the world’s biggest economy could face a mild recession, former Federal Reserve chairman Alan Greenspan was quoted as telling Asian investors on Wednesday.

“He said that the data coming out of the U.S. so far suggests a mild recession. The risk is really on the housing side,” a participant quoted Greenspan as telling a closed-door Deutsche Bank investor meeting in Singapore via videolink from Washington.

Wow, and we could face a mild winter too, maybe we should consult Puxentawny Phil about that? Hell, the U.S. could face a mild _____. You fill in the blank because your comments are just about as relevant as Mr. Greenspan’s.

Oh, and about that “risk is really on the housing side” comment… No shit! We had no idea there was trouble in the housing market! Thanks for telling us, sir.

Color me so not impressed.

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Here’s another case of the courts getting involved in people’s lives where they shouldn’t.

A man ordered by a judge to make sure his daughter hit the books has found himself in jail because she failed to earn a high school equivalency diploma.

Brian Gegner, of Fairfield, was sentenced last week to 180 days in jail for contributing to the unruliness or delinquency of a minor.

He was ordered months ago to make sure his 18-year-old daughter Brittany Gegner, who has a history of truancy, received her GED — something that hasn’t happened yet.

Don’t get me wrong, I think parents should be held accountable for the actions (or inaction) of their children, but how can they seriously sentence this man to jail time for the inaction of his daughter? You can lead a horse to water… but not when she’s living with her mother!

Brittany Gegner, who said Monday that she plans to take a required GED test this month, said her father shouldn’t be blamed for her failure because she has been living with her mother.

Oh yeah, and she’s 19. She’s an adult. Why is he being held responsible in the first place? Stupid.

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Save the economy, screw your employees. Fair trade, right?

JPMorgan Chase & Co (JPM.N) could cut as many as 4,000 of its own employees worldwide as the bank prepares to take on staff from Bear Stearns Cos (BSC.N) at the same time it deals with turmoil in financial markets, people familiar with the situation said on Tuesday.

In addition to roughly 2,000 JPMorgan employees who will be replaced by counterparts acquired through its takeover of Bear Stearns, the sources said that an additional 1,000 to 2,000 JPMorgan employees may lose their jobs because of the slowdown in investment banking activity and credit market crisis.

I think we all knew that job cuts would be coming somewhere along the line of this merger. Funny how it’s happening to the JPMorgan employees though huh?

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I thought this was already a done deal? I guess it isn’t over til it’s over, but who knew they could toywith people that way. Oh wait. We did.

Countrywide Financial Corp (CFC.N) shares fell nearly 6 percent on Friday on renewed speculation that Bank of America Corp (BAC.N) will renegotiate or cancel its agreement to buy the largest U.S. mortgage lender.

…

That valued Countrywide at the time at about $7.16 per share. The value of the merger has since fallen to about $3.9 billion because Bank of America’s stock has fallen.

…

Bank of America also spooked investors last week by saying it had not decided whether to guarantee all of Countrywide’s debt. Friedman, Billings, Ramsey & Co analyst Paul Miller said on Monday the bank should walk away from the merger.

They haven’t decided whether to guarantee all of Countrywide’s debt? Huh? I thought when you bought a company, you bought all of it, not just the parts that made you look cool? Doesn’t the debt come with the rest of it? If they choose not to guarantee all of the debt, what happens to it? Someone gets stuck with it, don’t they? They better stay out of my wallet.

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